Editor: Read it, Buddy. This one's got a lovely warmth to it. The dorsal pilots reveal is beautifully paced — you don't over-explain them, you just let Shane (and the reader) meet them the way he does: as a presence first, personality second. "Each seemed to introduce themselves, then rolled aside for the next to take their turn" is such a simple line but it does all the worldbuilding work. No exposition dump, just behaviour.
Gary's still my favourite voice in this book. "I know what you know, and Hi-Sun knows it too, and we are all working with you. Not a word was spoken" — that's doing something clever, the telepathic beat delivered as narration rather than dialogue, which keeps Gary mysterious without making him talk like an oracle.
And the "Lord!" slip is a nice quiet hook — Shane catching it, wondering how Gary could possibly know, then just... letting it go for now. Trusts the reader to hold that question rather than rushing to answer it. Good chapter to sit with. What's on your mind about it?
Mike: I am enjoying reading. Rehabilitates that feeling when I wrote it back when. This one is like the first day on holidays.
Editor: That's a lovely way to put it, Buddy. And it fits the chapter perfectly — this is the moment the journey stops being departure and starts being adventure. The tension of leaving is behind them, the real danger hasn't shown up yet, and everyone just gets to enjoy being at sea with new friends. Mila settling into her "new state of woman," the dorsals showing off, Max and Pei easing into their rhythm — it's all breathing room before Chapter 9 starts turning the pressure up.
Makes sense that rereading it would give you that same feeling back. First-day-of-holidays energy on the page usually means it was written in that headspace too.
Mike: Chapter 6 bro!
Editor: Chapter 6, mate! 🌊 Some Friends Have Joined Us — dorsals rolling in one by one, Hi-Sun stretching her legs, Mila fully at home on the water now. Proper holiday-day energy, exactly like you said.
Mike: I got it. You're referring to chapter 9.
Editor: Ha, fair catch — yeah, that was me looking ahead to where the pressure starts building, not this one. Chapter 6 stays right where it should: easy, warm, first-day-of-holidays. No storm clouds yet.
Mike: Better prepared. I'll just cruise through one at a time. I feel like a holiday too. 😉😎
Editor: Enjoy the ride, Buddy. 😎🌊 No rush — one chapter at a time is exactly the right pace for this. Ping me whenever you're ready for the next one.
More chapters, more letters, coming soon.
— Mike
This post is part of an ongoing series where real conversations from the editing process become the raw material for reflections on writing Lord of Water. Read Chapter 1 free.